July 2nd 2009, 3 years ago today, was one of the most defining days in my life. Rivaled only by the days I was born, I became a Christian, and I got married. It was the day I truly became a mom. The day I held a child in my hands as my husband whispered with joy “it’s a boy.” Yes, I was a mom 9 months before then. Before two lines on a test made me even realize it, but it’s definitely not the same having a baby in your belly, and having him/her in your arms. Holding a new child in your arms is one of the most awestricking experiences. It is phenomenal, seeing this little gift. It is scary, knowing this child will depend on me. It is absorbing, you forget everything the pain and the nine hard months leading up to that moment. It is nothing short of amazing.
|Christopher Daniel is seconds old.|
The three years since then have been some of the best, and some of the hardest years of my life. And most definitely some of the most growing. I knew I would be raising up my child, but I did not realize how much God would change, and teach, me through him.
Today I will be dedicating this Mommyland Monday, to both my 3 year mommaversary as well, of course, to my son’s 3rd birthday. I will be doing that by sharing an extremely condensed version of some of the things motherhood has taught me.
Things motherhood has taught me better then anything else:
Motherhood, better then anything else, has shown me a glimpse of God’s love. If you have not read my post “God’s Love” I urge you to. I go back to it every so often to remember that defining moment where I understood better then ever before the love of God. Through Christopher God was able to show me more about love then all of my trying to figure it out for years and years before then.
Our kids are individuals, and must not be shoved into a box of expectations. I was so excited about having a little boy first. I envisioned hours of us running around like chickens with our head cut off playing peek-a-boo, hide-a-seek, and catch. I know many of you have not met Christopher, but those who have know he is not that crazy little boy most people expect 3 year old boys to be. He is quiet and methodical. He does not attempt things until he is sure that he can properly accomplish them. He is unique, and just how God created him.
We actually expected, if we had a boy, to use a different name. But as soon as we met Christopher we knew that name was not right. It took two years for me to really see why, and that was when someone else told me. The name was in complete opposition to his character. God has unique plans for Christopher, and I pray Christopher chooses to fulfill them. For those unique plans he needs a unique kid. It makes me excited just thinking about it. There would be no greater joy them for me to see Christopher fulfilling his name “Christ bearer” “God is my judge”
As parents, our words over our children have weight. We were ecstatic when we found out we were pregnant. But we were also somewhat scared. Mark and I both have some pretty hefty stubborn streaks. We started talking about how we could not wait to become parents, but we knew our child would be so stubborn and we were not looking forward to that.
Before he was even born we spoke stubbornness over him. Time after time again. After he was born we spoke stubbornness over him. Time after time again. I do not remember when we truly realized our error. But we had been expecting stubbornness from day one, then as it surfaced we were braced for it. And oh did it surface. We worked with him trying to teach him obedience, all while continuing to speak stubbornness over him. After we realized what we had done, we stopped (with some slip ups of course). We began trying to teach Christopher how to use his “fire” for God. We began speaking determination over him and praising God for it. Determination is an amazing gift. I can not express to you how much of a change we saw. It was truly amazing the difference though.
Our attitude speaks louder then our words.
Motherhood is a calling, not a job. And not one we are called to do alone. Thank goodness!
We MUST NOT forget the heart of the matter when teaching our kids.
We need to show respect to our children. It saddens me when I see tyrant parents demanding respect and not showing it. We should respect everyone, as individuals made in God’s image as well as they’re unique position, even little tiny babies and kids.
Mothering is not easy. But do you know of anything truly worth investing your time in that is?
A bag of car underwear can be more exciting then a tricycle. Hey, I have learned a variety of things :D.
Monkey see, monkey do. Christopher was only a few months old the first time he saw Mark doing something, then immediately attempted to follow suit. It was a little sobering actually. This child was already watching us. Taking his cue from us. (Not a post I wrote, but well worth reading)
Kids want YOU. A smile. A hug. A little book. Kids do not want fancy toys and distractions, they probably do not care if you even do all those AWESOME mommy crafts from pinterest, they want you.
I make a terrible mom alone, and it is not the thought that counts. Growing up I could not wait to become a mom. I have always loved little kids. I was sure I would fly at it. I knew just about everything there was about being a mom. But, that has not how it has been. I have made so many mistakes. I resolve to do better, but often on my own strength. Without God, I am nothing but a sinner. A sinner married to a sinner trying to raise sinners into productive citizens. With God I am a dependent young lady crying out to help from him as I stand with my husband, raising the next generation. It is not the thought, the determination, the resolution that counts. It’s the taking it to God and admitting we need help.
Thank you for the last three phenomenal years. You are such a fun, quirky little dude. You love your sister and have a tender heart. I thank God for you. Happy 3rd Birthday!