I have been dwelling on cliches lately. How terribly cliche they are. Unexciting. As dull as dishwater. They are no longer witty or funny, being as old as the hills, and in the case of at least one, proven untrue by Myth Busters. Let’s face it. Some of them are downright terrible. But what about when your wit is all dried up, and everyone is staring at you wondering if the cat got your tongue? Cliches CAN come in handy. So, what is a person to do? It is time for them to be revisited. Let us change their tune, develop the cliches for tomorrow. I have today 5 cliches I would like to propose a rewrite on. I kept to what I know (motherhood), as wisdom dictates, but I’d argue that they will be better then ever. Even my children got caught up in the spirit of things, and followed suit. So, without further ado let us address the problem.
As white as a ghost– Have you ever seen a ghost? I did not think so. Why do we assume they are white? In fact, as a Christian I do not even believe in people coming partially back from the dead and haunting the earth. Nope. This just will not do. How about “As white as my white walls were BEFORE I had kids.” I think we can all relate to this far better then “as white as a ghost”. Extra bonus: you don’t even have to stick to “walls”. Think about it, as white as my white carpet/ white shirt/white fridge/white of my eyes, ect. were before I had kids.
Another day, another dollar- I think Another day, another diaper sounds much better. Only problem is what kind of kid would only dirty one diaper a day? A dehydrated one… Another day, a bunch new diapers. Yes, I like that much better. What do you think?
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend- Seriously? I’ve had a rough day, I think I will go call my diamond. Or how about going to have a cup of tea with your diamond. This must be the lamest cliche ever. Whoever came up with it was a very, very lonely, sad person. If we must pretend an anthromorphasized something as our “best friend” how about choosing what actually benefits us? I love the diamond ring that Mark gave me, but it is the covenant behind it, not the diamond that makes it truly special. Diamonds really aren’t that great. You know what is though? Naps. I like naps. How about “Naps are a girls best friend”? I rest my case.
Like a bull in a china shop- If “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” is the lamest cliche ever, this is the second one. Why? Well, a bull in a china shop (real) does not behave like a bull in a china shop (saying). Seriously. I know this for a fact. Myth Buster’s proved it.
Yep. Lame cliche. How about “Like a toddler to a couch full of newly folded clothes” What is that I hear? A collective groan? That is what I thought.
We are known by the company we keep- This one has got to go. How many times do you go to the store with your most common “company” and people can tell you are a mom?? Oh, wait. Never mind. This one can stay like it is.
From the kids
Like I said, the kids wanted to contribute to today also. Keep in mind, I am not suggesting the changes. They are. I thought it would be only fair to include it.
Christopher suggests changing “Take time to smell the roses” to “Take time to stop and watch the vrooms go by”. Because if you are going to take the time to do something, it needs to be important. And he just does not get the smelling flowers hype.
Natalia suggests changing “Money makes the world go round” to “Breasts make the world go round.” For obvious reasons.
Have a lovely day ladies! Don’t forget to use your new and improved cliches. Except maybe breasts make the world go round one…
|Sitting outside the library watching the “vrooms” go by.|