She Watches Over the Affairs of Her Household- Week 1

Over the next few weeks Mommyland Monday is being taken over by “She Watches Over the Affairs of her Household” I have limited blogging energy and feel this is more important. I am still collecting stories for “I Must Be a Mom” and “Mommy Brain” moments. Send anything you have, a long with blogging info if you blog, to debra(at)sweetkissesanddirtydishes(dot)com.

Early last week I was reading about the lady herself, you know the one in Proverbs 31? Every so often I go back to that passage and dream of my children raising up and calling me blessed, and being worth more then rubies to my husband. I did not get very far at all before a verse really struck me. “The heart of her husband safely trusts her.” Does my husband trust me? I am tempted to say, of course. Why would he not? I am faith to him and truthful to him. I am responsible with finances. I will think before I answer a question and give my honest opinion.

But then I began to think about what I trust my husband to do. Beyond being truthful and faithful I trust him to provide. Or at least do what he can to do so, I trust God for provisions and Mark to be a hard worker. I can trust him to not wake up one day and decide he is not going to go to work. He just does not feel like providing for his family any more.

In light of that I thought back to me, does my husband trust me to do the things he needs me to do? We are a pretty traditional family in that he is the financial provider and I am the keeper of the home, we have other roles then that but those are the main ones we do to keep our household running in the physical. How many times have I not done the things he needs me to do? I am tempted to forget about physical needs when I say “of course he can trust me”. But, does he know without a doubt that he can trust me to care for his children, to fix food, and keep our home?  To do what needs to be done to keep within our budget? To not decide to rebel against being a homemaker that day? To have socks ready for him when he needs them? To watch over the affairs of my household? Does he know he can undoubtedly trust me to do my work?

I am afraid he can not “safely” trust me as a homemaker. More often then I would like to admit he comes home to a very stressful environment. Dinner is not even started. His daughter needs her diaper changed (and probably a bath). The house is a wreck. And his wife is angry at one thing or another. Not seeing her home and children as a blessing, but as a burden. We always eat three times a day, but often not on time and that is the only thing very consistent.

I am not saying there will not be days when I just can not get it done. Kids are unpredictable, and it is a lot of work to keep a home, care for two toddlers, and cook frugal healthy meals. Sometimes, I physically can not get it done. But, I know that I can get it done more often then I do. I can be a lot more productive.

I wrote a letter to him apologizing that he could not trust me in those things. That I was so unpredictable and unreliable. The moment he read it he came and gave me a big kiss and a huge smile and a tight hug. He agrees. It is something I need to work on. So, I am going to. Care to join me? Over the next few weeks (or months, we will see how it goes) I will be writing about keeping the home and ending the post with a challenge. Some weeks it will be nothing but a challenge others there will be more umph to the post.

Week 1- According to this fantastic post at Stacy Makes Cents the most important housework to do is heartwork. To root out rebellion. I know I have definitely rebelled against dishes before and in general against my role as homemaker. In light of that, I am challenging myself, AND YOU to spend every day in the Word this week. Before the kids get up, during nap time, while the kids watch a movie, at bedtime. Whatever it is you can do it, spend time in the word, and if you have a rebellious attitude to housework take it to the Lord. If you are already great about quiet times, spend a little of it asking God if you have a good attitude towards your work, and if your husband can safely trust you.

Friday Homemaking Link-up @ Homemaker by Choice
DIY Accomplished at Homemaker’s Challenge
Modest Monday @ Modest Mom
WIP Wednesdays@ New Life Steward
Fellowship Fridays @ Christian Mommy Blogger
Weekend Whatever @ Whole Intentions


  1. Ouch. :( This post hits me in that tender spot in my belly. This was just a conversation the Mr and I had the other day. :( It’s heartbreaking because, no, he can’t trust me in that way. He can trust that everyone will eat. He can trust that our son will be taken care of. He can trust that our bills will be paid and groceries bought and extra to spare. But the house, is where I struggle the most. So, I, too, will be joining you. I need it. Thank you for posting this. :)


  2. I really needed this post! I’ve been letting things slide around the house when I know I could do better. I’ll be following along and doing the challenges with you! :-)

  3. Thak you so much for this post! I will be joining you as well!

  4. Very good point–especially about the clean socks. :) And I think the thing I’m most untrustworthy in is in my attitude–I’m not sure he can trust that I’m always going to be cheerful. Thanks for the reminder that I need to keep striving for that goal!

  5. Coming to you via WIP Weds. It sounds really HARD, this call you have. I just wanted to affirm you in that. Thinking of you as you seek to grow in God’s Sprit’s work in your life. Much love.

  6. Is it too late to join in? I so need a challenge like this! I can do it for a few weeks anyway, until the new baby comes.

  7. And on that note I am signing off the internet! I also will subscribe to your posts so I can participate in the series!

  8. Oh, I know these feelings all too well. It can be overwhelming to be both keeper of the home and mother to little ones on top of our other responsibilities.