She Watches Over the Affairs of Her Household- Week 2

Last week I shared how I knew my husband could not trust me, to be the homemaker he needs me to be. I challenged myself, and you, to do the first step of homemaking, which is working on your heart. To spend every day in the word, and pray to see if you had any rebellion against homemaking.

How did I do? 

This challenge has really helped me. I am not really able to do the typical Wake-Up-Early-And-Do-Devotions style of quiet time, so it has been hard to get into a routine. I did my quiet times during nap times, if they happened, or while Mark was putting the kids to bed. So, I now know it CAN be done. 


Did I Learn Anything? 

Disclaimer: This is my personal story. I am not saying it is the case for anyone else.

*deep breath*

I have really struggled with depression lately, and this past  week part of the reason has been made clearer. We have had a crazy first couple of years of marriage with a major life event happen on average every 2.5 months since getting married… until now. Mark has a regular job, we are not moving soon, have a newborn, or am pregnant. That has allowed me the opportunity to not be in survival mode for the first time. I finally have more time to invest in my relationships with God, my husband, and my children, and to invest in my home. But, I have not been. Instead I have been in sort of a haze. Unsure of what to do with myself. I have been distracting myself as much as I can with media and ignoring important things- being discontent and, though I hate to say it, feeling like “just a mom.”  Our home has not had a good, relaxing, God honoring atmosphere. Well, that is changing. I will be purposefully taking steps to take PRIDE in the fact that I am a homemaker. With God’s strength that is. I know this will be a struggle, but also that my God is bigger then my struggles.

How did you do? Did you learn anything? Please tell us in the comments.

Week number 2- I do not know about you but I am ready to dig in deeper. So, here we go. You need four things to keep a home. The will, a goal, the ability, and a plan. This week we will be talking about the goal. I challenge you, and me, to make a Homemaking Mission Statement. One thing first, It will look different for every person. We are all in different seasons, keeping vastly different homes, and being a helpmeet and mom to vastly different people. That and we ourselves are different.

This week ask AT LEAST 4 people what keeping a home looks like to them. AT LEAST two older women you have deep respect for, your husband, and also pray about it to learn what you need in a home. Then I would like you to prayerfully write a Homemaking Mission Statement rough draft. Through out the rest of week revisit, reavuluate, and rewriting it as needed. Next Monday feel free to share it with us. Sharing will be to inspire NOT to compare. 

Have a lovely week! May God bless you.

Comments

  1. I feel like I’m coming out of survival mode, too. I really thought that I’d quickly get my feet under me after our second baby was born, like I did with our first, but she’s almost ten months and I still feel like I’m floundering on getting a routine set. Thanks so much for sharing this challenge with us, Debra! :-)

    • Thanks for doing it with me Justyn.

      I actually think I adjusted to Natalia easier then Christopher. Or maybe it was the before/after baby came difference. Christopher’s pregnancy was easy, but adjusting to him was not. Natalia’s pregnancy was hard, but adjusting to her was easy even in the midst of a move.

  2. Thank you for your honest sharing with your struggle to fit time alone with the Lord. I understand how life can be one constant drama to another, especially with children. So many other things can be added to the mix of life that seems to put one on a constant fight or flight mode. Early in my Christian walk as an adult some one made a good impression on me that if I do not feel my flesh every day it would start to die, slowly. This is the same with my spirit and soul, if I am not feeding it everyday, it will die, slowly. At first, I struggled with this, until someone bought us the most wonderful gift, a set of Bible tapes.

    “Martha, Martha. . . Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” Luke 10:41-42

    As homemakers, we are anxious about many things getting done. I thank God for an older sister, spiritual mother, who was there to teach me the most important lessons about homemaking. She schooled me, the most important thing in a home, is not the order of the home or even the cleanliness of the home, but the order and cleanliness of the hearts of the home. When we had gotten the Bible on tape and played it through out the day, everyone could hear it, even during the children’s playtime.

    Some days we may have only gotten one short verse in but other days we received plenty in the Word of God. We were being feed daily. Life is about God and what we do with His Son, Jesus. The home may suffer, but that is better than the spirit and souls of the home suffering. This is the lesson I learned from my spiritual mother in Christ. She also told me if some one is coming to see how orderly or clean your home is, they came for the wrong reasons.

    It is the spirit of the home; people come for, the welcoming atmosphere. We have had very few people come and leave remembering the dust bunnies or undone dishes, but they did remember the sense of home, the welcoming spirit and the imparting of God’s Word because we were able to serve up a health dish of God’s Word each time they came, because we had been filled with God’s Word.

    This one thing changed all of our lives. You can now find the audio Bible online in most any translation, so if you have a computer and the Internet you can go to one of these sites and let it play. We still do this and my youngest is 24 years old.

    We do keep a list of things to get done everyday, but do not feel if we cannot get to it all that we have failed as homemakers as long as we put God first. It is only the days when we fail at this that we feel the impact of it.

  3. What a good idea–thanks! I especially like the idea of asking others what keeping a home looks like to them.

    Another helpful thing I have done is to make a short list of “if I get these things done, I’ll feel like I did a good job housekeeping.” My short list is a picked-up living room, dishes done, my two daily chores done, and having supper on a clean table. I was surprised when I made that list how easy it sounded!

    It sounds like you are doing a great job of thinking through your stage in life and learning to live it as best you can. Way to go :)

    Oh, I learned (well, it was awhile ago, not just this past week) that it works best for me to pair my quiet time with my coffee time. The only problem with that is if I skip coffee for some reason one day. I’m glad you’re feeling freedom not to do the “early morning up before kids” bit–it’s not for everyone all the time.

  4. Very encouraging! I just want to say thanks for posting. I’ve been kind of (okay, maybe not “kind of”… it just sounds better when I say that) struggling with the same sort of thing. I like your challenge, it’s actually encouraging. I’ll see what I can do about it! ;)

  5. I actually just wrote a post along these same lines. Yesterday, I really didn’t feel like doing anything- but yet, things needed to be done! That cause me to do some reflection on motivation, which made it into my post- “Discipline to Work.” I’d love it if you want to check it out! (if you want to, that is.) Not sure if there’s a way to share the links in the comments here without being marked as spam…

    Anyway, the gist of it is this: Motivation can’t come from an outside source (i.e., bills need paid, it’s my job/duty, etc). It doesn’t motivate enough, especially on “downer” days. That’s where discipline comes in- discipline is inward motivation. That’s definitely what I need a lot of just to be able to get things done some days!

  6. I feel like I am going through some of the same as you. I am learning that, at least for me, a lack of quiet time is what is throwing my whole day/system/etc. way off. I have also struggled with a bit of depression with God is bringing me through. I am learning to focus more on Him, and spend quality time with just Him every day. I am not a rise-at-5am kind of person right now, although maybe in the future I can, but being pregnant and chasing a almost 4y/o and a 2y/o around all day, I decided I need a little extra sleep in this season of life. I look forward to continuing on this challenge with you. I am glad I found your blog! :)

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